Tuesday, August 26, 2008


I could NOT sleep the other night! That is one of the most frustrating things in the world…not being able to sleep! I was soo tired and my back was killing me (still hurting from my spill off Dirt, but I keep hoping that if I ignore it, it will go away.) I was happy to be in bed, earlyish, something I am trying to do to get ready for going back to school. I layed there, ready and willing for sleep to come…but it wouldn’t! Sometimes I can’t sleep if I have too many thoughts running through my head, but I had made a point of writing down all of my brilliant “school related” thoughts before going to bed to help put the thoughts to rest. Sometimes I can’t sleep if I have had coffee late in the day, but I had enjoyed my java before noon, so that couldn’t be it! I just plain and simple couldn’t get to sleep. Part of the problem was that I couldn’t get comfortable with my back ache, every position seemed to be awkward and then there was the rain dripping on the rain spout that was making the sound of a leaky faucette. I closed the window to drown out the annoying outside sounds and then I got fixated on Marty’s breathing! Funny how when you can’t sleep everything becomes exaggerated and irritating! Marty had also been super tired (he had spent the weekend with “the boys” out golfing and drinking beer, so he had a lot of sleep to make up,) but he had no troubles finding the land of zzzz’s! He snored a little, but I nudged him and he rolled off his back onto his side, this always ends the snoring, but tonight, it seemed to increase the volume of his breathing! I mean he was breathing REALLY LOUD and really deep! I tried to ignore it, but you know how when you can hear someone breathing, you tend to subconsciously take on the same breathing pattern? Well his breaths were so deep and slow that I thought I was going to pass out as my body took on his breathing rhythm! I tried nudging his leg with my feet, hoping to disrupt his breathing, but he must not have been able to feel it. I knew it wasn’t right to get more aggressive with my physical hints to make his stop as he really wasn’t doing anything wrong and it wasn’t like he could quit breathing like he had quit snoring. I was rattled and frustrated though and as the minutes on my clock ticked by! Finally I got up, turned the fan in the ensuite bathroom on, hoping the white noise would drown out the sound of his heavy breathing. I jumped back in bed, hoping to shake him a little thinking that would make his stop breathing SO LOUD, but it didn’t and the fan could not cover up what I was soooo fixated on! I tried saying “shhhh” in a really loud, harsh whisper, but his subconscious did not get the hint like I was hoping. Marty continued his loud breathing and I continued tossing and turning. Finally I had to get up and go sleep in the spare room. I have never had to do this before, but the longer I stayed, the more, unfairly, frustrated I got. If I didn’t leave, I was going to keep getting angrier and angrier at Marty and I had to keep reminding myself that he wasn’t really doing anything wrong. He was just laying there, peacefully sleeping, dreaming away, breathing LIKE A BUFFALO!!!! I did fall asleep as soon as my head hit the spare room pillow and Marty did come looking for me eventually blaming the bathroom fan for waking him up…ooops! Here’s hoping that tonight, I fall asleep first!!!!

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