Swimming eh?

So, Micheal Phelps is pretty much a fish eh? I know he isn't Canadian and I know that our Canadian swimmers can't seem to keep up to him, but I still have to admire him! He is good at what he does and when you watch someone do what they are really good at, it is inspiring! That being said, I have the upmost respect for anyone, anyone at all who swims and likes it! I HATE swimming. Yep, I used the caps lock on that one, I feel very strongly about my hatred for swimming. Contrary to what you might think, I have never had a near drowning experience nor have I had a shark encounter, still I hate swimming. Don't mistake my "feelings" for "inability". I can swim, I just don't like to. I took swimming lessons as a kid (think I failed "Red," like three times,) and I did learn to swim, but Inever liked it. I am not entirely sure why I hate it so much, but part of it has to do with the fact that swimming involves....the swim suit! Ahhhh! Even as a kid I hated swim suits. I remember wearing a T-shirt over my suit as a teen ager, in hopes of hiding my flat chest, then later, as my chest grew, I started wearing shorts with my bikini top with hopes of hiding my thighs. At some point, I traded the t-shirts and shorts and all plans of actually getting into the water, for a bikini top, jeans and the beach, not the water, just the sand! I love going to the beach...and staying there. I will lay with the towels and baskets all day, I never have any desire at all to get into the water. I also really hate getting my face wet. I am not the person who stands in the shower facing the water, letting it wash over my head. I stand with my back to the stream and avoid face wetting at all costs. You know the romantic image of standing naked in a water fall with your lover on a tropical island? Doesn't appeal to me. I know that the water would be running in my eyes and getting up nose. Even showering together doesn't get me excited at all, water on my face would surely be unavoidable. I'd be so busy worrying about keeping the water out of my eyes that I wouldn't be able to enjoy it at all!

A couple of years ago, I thought it would be cool to train for a triathlon, you know, the race where you swim, bike and run. I knew I could run, I figured biking wouldn't be too bad and I was hoping I could master the swimming thing. A girlfriend of mine, took me under her wing. She went with me to the bay to buy a full piece bathing suit, something I hadn't worn since elementary school, she leant me a swim cap and her expertise.
We walked into the changeroom at the Sylvan Lake pool where I put on my new one piece suit. Ah, the one piece suit, who looks good in that? NOT ME that's what I know, talk about unflattering!!! The swim cap, who looks good in that? NOT ME! You have to wet it before putting it on, I learned that in a hurry, it hurts if you don't! I topped the outfit off with some goggles and I hit the pool. Since completing swimming lessons, I have not attempted to really swim. I have been in pools, I have done handstands, had "tea party's" under water and treaded water a lot, but I have not actually tried to swim a front crawl. My girlfriend did her best to teach me about breathing and proper stroke technique and I made a big effort to be a good student. I tried, I really did, but swimming was hard! I thought I was in good shape, but I could barely swim one length without being completely exhausted! Not just normal, tired, I mean uncomfortably out of breath. I stuck with it for a few "lessons," but honestly, in the end, I decided life was just way too short to spend so much time making myself do something I hated that much.
I no longer aspire to do a triathlon, I will leave that to people who like getting thier faces wet and wearing one piece suits. Instead, I will sit on my couch and cheer the swimmers, like Micheal Phelps, on from my living room!!!