Monday, June 29, 2009


Today was the second last day of school for us teachers. Tomorrow we have to be here for half the day and then we are free for summer, yipeeeeeee! I was cleaning up my classroom and my desk today and there is no way for me to deny it anymore, I am gross. I used to be a lot more "Type A," very organized and anal about things being neat, being put away in their specific place, but it seems, that as I age, I become less and less type A and more and more...gross! It's not just my classroom either. This morning as I washed my face, I noticed how disgusting my bathroom sink has become. There was a time when I would take a lysol wipe and wipe out the sink after every use, now, however, I seem to leave the sink until the water physically will not go down the drain anymore before scrubbing it, ewwwwwww! The bathroom floor is covered in my own hair, hair, I used to faithfully sweep up after each blow dry, but the task has grown tedious and I can't seem to remember to haul the broom up the stairs each time. The kitchen floor is covered with puppy paw prints. Piles of dog hair collect on an hourly basis in every corner of the main floor and rather than try to keep up with all this mess, I have just given up! My mom warned me about this everytime I would complain that the dog hair and paw prints in her house were gross. She warned me that when I got a dog or had a child, I would lose this anal retentiveness. I didn't believe her, but she was right! My car, is hands down, the most disgusting place I am responsible for. The bottom of the cup holders are carpeted with grimy spilled coffe and the crumbs of snacks that have stuck to it. The seats, all of them, are plastered with dog hair, the floors are caked with gravel, mud, hay and several road snacks that have missed my mouth and the windows are smeared with dog saliva. I actually laughed outloud at my grossness when I lifted a box of school stuff onto my backseat and shoved it right next to the horse hoof trimming and some other strange animal bone (bribes to get Scout back in the car after a day visiting Uncle Dirt), occupying prime real estate on the back seat! But the grossest of all, something I have been doing all year, but did not realize exactly how gross it was until today, was...the mug. I kept this giant coffee mug on the table behind my desk. I didn't drink coffee out of it, but rather used it as more of a spitoon. See, I have been trying to cut back on my gum chewing habit (another gross thing I do, when you consider that at it's worst, this habit involved me chewing 14 pieces of gum a day,) in order to curb this habit, I started swishing mouthwash. I kept a bottle of minty fresh mouth wash in my desk drawer. Every now and then I'd swish some around in my mouth and spit it into "the mug!" Today, I had to empty that mug, ewwwwwwwwwwww! Dont even try to imagine what a years worth of mouthwash spit looks like pooled in a giant coffe mug, it will only make you gag....GROSSSSSSS!

1 comment:

Country Girl said...

Ahhhahhaahahahaha! That's awesome! Snicker, snort, giggle.