Monday, November 24, 2008


We had this cat when we were kids, he had this disgusting scab on his head. The scab bore the appearance of a permanant spoonful of ground beef. Not sure who came up with it, but Hamburger Head became the cat's handle and he went through the rest of his life with it. Gross, I know, but true. I had my fair share of "hamburger" today too....

We were playing this game in gr.5 French Class. A game that involved two students racing to a pile of stuffed animals, attempting to be the first to pull the one I had called out in French, from the stack. It was great fun, we were all cheering, laughing wildly and learning "en francais." Ofcorse, like most fun things, this game ended with an injury. One of the girls slid across the carpet to grab a pig (un animal de la ferme,) she sat back down at her spot in the circle, victorious, and that is when we noticed the blood seeping through her jeans. She pulled up her pantleg to reveal a red spot. From where I was sitting it looked like a "cherry," you know a little rug burn. I started to warn the rest of the kids NOT to slide or they too would end up with rug burn, but the girl's voice was insistant when she said, "Madame, it's not rug burn." I took a closer look and almost lost my breakfast!!! She was right, this was no rug burn, this was....well, it was hamburger!! I could see the meaty part of her knee when she lifted up the thick skin flap that had once covered it. She explained that when she slid she felt her knee scrape across some metal. Turns out there is some kind of electrical outlet in the floor, under the carpet that is covered by a metal trimmed carpet lid. I had never noticed it before, but suddenly it was in very plain sight!!! The young lady ended up getting the skin flapped stitched back over top of the knee meat!!! DISGUSTING!!!!!!!!!!!

I should have known I was in for a particularily scabby kind of day, after the discovery I made on my face this morning! See, I have this nose piercing with a history of growing large, infectuous, pusy (I don't know how to spell puss ending with the "y" sound, but when I put two s's it looks like pussy and my nose ring does not grow pussys) bumps around it. It can look pretty gross and sore, but I love it, I love it too much to take it out. Anyway, I must have scratched myself in my sleep because when I woke up this morning, I had this enormous, fluid filled bump behind my nose ring. It looked hideous, so I did what any desperat woman would do when faced with a blemish...I reached for the safety pin I keep in my make up bag. I scraped off the mascara (hey who doesn't use a pin to seperate her eyelashes?) and poked it into the squishy bump...nothing. I pushed harder and whoooosh, out spewed all kinds of thick mucussy fluid!!! Soo gross, but sooo satisfying at the same time!! I kept squeezing and manipulating the bump until it appeared much flatter and held a Q-tip on it until it stopped bleeding. To me, the hamburger looking mess I left behind seemed way less detrimental to my otherwise flawless (ha) face than the pusy bump! I have posted a picture of what things looked like on my face at the end of the day....dont' worry, next time you see me, it will look normal!

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