Funny how guys love action movies, car chases, gun fights and spies! We just saw the new James Bond movie and all the way home Marty kept talking about how cool it would be to be a spy! I just smiled and nodded. I really don't get the big excitement about being a spy, at least the way James Bond portrays it. Ok, sure, I get the appeal of sexy ladies, fast cars and fancy martinis, but the rest of it? The rooftop jumping in suit jackets? The dangling by the ankles from ropes while blood dries in your eyes? The bare handed glass grabbing and stabbing? The bare chested sutchering of wounds? The constant running at top speed for miles in dress shoes and tuxedo pants? No thanks!
Come on, is one night with a sexy lady you'll never see again really worth all that? I guess men think differently than women. Marty kept making comments like " I could be a spy, but I dont' know 14 different languages. I could be a spy, but I'm too big. I could be a spy but I'm not that agile. I could be a spy, but I bet you'd have to serve in the military first. I could be a spy, but...." the list went on and on. Marty was quite worked up and excited about this whole spy thing when we pulled into the driveway. I pointed the garage door opener at the door and...nothing! "Stupid thing," I said. It had been giving me trouble for a while. "It must need a new battery" was Marty's response to my frustration and he grabbed the remote opener from me. We sat in the driveway twisting and pointing the remote towards the door in everyway possible until finally, randomly the big door lifted up. I drove the car in opened my door to get out, but Marty wouldn't get out of the passenger seat. He was determined to open the remote and check out the battery situation. I closed my door and waited for a couple of minutes, I had actually been wondering how to check the battery. I watched as my "wannabe" spy rolled the remote over and over in his hands. I watched him squint as he read the instructions telling him "...to change battery, slide cover." I watched as he inspected the "sliding cover" for the secret handle that slid. I watched and I waited. Eventually, I lost interest in the mission. I got out of the car, closed the garage door with the big button on the wall and went into the house. Marty, ever focused, stayed in the car, fiddling with the remote. I had let Scout out of her kennel, gone pee myself, got the coffee maker ready for morning and picked out my clothes for tomorrow before Marty made his way inside. "So," I inquired, "did ya get it open?" I looked up into his defeated eyes, he didn't have to say anything. I knew he had not cracked open the garage door remote opener! So much for "I could be a spy but....I am pretty sure that being able to change a simple battery would be a pre rec for any spy training course. (Hey, I know I can't do it either, but I am not proclaiming I could be a spy.) Poor Marty, guess he will have to settle for the hot chick he has, the mini van he drives and the booze he sells without the excitement and danger of 007!
Check out the pics of my wannabe spy and his sidekick, adorable!