Monday, June 20, 2011


It's 10pm and after sitting in my chair with Ryder asleep on my chest for an hour, I finally put him in his crib.
OMG, I put him in his crib at 10pm, after he fell asleep on my boob and slept snuggled up to me for an hour! If you are a sleep expert you are cringing right now, arn't you? You are thinking that I am committing every "sleep stealer" sin possible. I know you think this because I have been reading "sleep" books lately. I am not reading these "sleep" books because I am concerned about Ryder's sleep, but because I feel like I am supposed to.
Infact, just a few minutes ago a Mom from our baby Group, emailed an entire sleep book to all of us, bragging about how the tips in the book were working for her. Apparently, it only took three nights to get her little one sleeping from bedtime until morning without waking. I know some of the other moms will be scouring this document, desperate to be competative in the race to be the first ones to get their babies sleeping all night.
Every morning, after getting up at least once or twice to feed Ryder, I check facebook and read all the posts by other moms boasting that their baby "slept through the night," or that they got "6 hours of sleep in a row!" It seems like everyone I know who has a baby right now is obsessed with "sleep." I am NOT...not yet anyway.
Ryder is only three months old. He is soo little, so young and he won't be for long. He wont want to fall asleep cuddled up on my chest at night forever. How many Moms of grown children do you talk now, who say, "don't listen to people who say you'll spoil them if you hold them too much," or " hold them as much as you can, they grow soooo fast," or "don't worry about spoiling them, hold them, cuddle them and snuggle as much as you can, I wish I had." I have never met a high school student who still needs their mom to rock them to sleep every night. Somehow all of that makes all my cuddling, snuggling and other "sleep sinning" things I am indulging in now, justifiable.
I am lucky, I guess, that I don't have to go back to work yet. I have a whole year to "teach"Ryder how to sleep independently. I feel for those moms, like my sister, who had to go back to work when their children were so young. I understand that they have to get their children sleeping so that they can get enough sleep to be successful at their careers and as a moms. (My sister did an awesome job at "teaching" her son without making him "cry it out" to sleep on his own and I appreciate her advice and will one day, when I am ready, use it.
Right now though, I am not worried about being tired, or about me getting enough sleep. I am still in the honeymoon phase where I love seeing Ryder's happy little face in his crib when he needs me at night. He also goes right back to sleep after he feeds, which makes the time we spend together, just the two of us in the quiet of the night, so pleasant and positive. We wake up usually at 2 or 3am and then again at 5 or 6. At 6am, I bring him into bed with me, nurse him there, then let him sleep on my chest. GASP! I bring him into my bed! GASP! I let him sleep on me! Some of you may be thinking, "just wait...she'll regret this." But I am convinced that I won't. So far, actually, I feel like this 5am, "bring him to my bed" thing is the smartest thing I've done. Finally, we all get to sleep until 8am. When we get up, we are all happy. 8am is a much better time to start our day, than 5 or even 6am! How will I regret all the skin to skin time I still get to have with Ryder. How will I ever regret watching my beautiful baby boy sleep so soundly, happily and peacefully without tears or fear? How will I regret that I didn't put him in his crib and listen to him cry and cry and cry?
I know, that according to all of the sleep experts (real or self-proclaimed,) that I am doing everything wrong, so remind me, in a few months when I desperately want Ryder to sleep by himself, that I said this, but I am glad I have chosen to "screw the experts." I nurse my baby to sleep, allow him to sleep on my chest and to put him into his crib already sound asleep knowing full well that I am not "supposed to." So far this is working for us, and why would I fix it if it aint broken? Tomorrow, I am meeting with the moms from our baby group and when the discussion moves to the subject of sleep, I will sit back, listen to the stressed out bunch who are trying to get their tiny babies to spend 8 hours in a room all by themselves without the only people they trust coming to them and be happy that I dont' have to wait a full 6 or 8 hours to see Ryder's smiling face.......
DISCLAIMER: I am sure there will come a time when I write about the trials and tribulations of putting Ryder to bed.....I won't blame you if you say, "I told you so...." LOL

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