Tuesday, September 14, 2010


I have not been to the mall enough lately! I know this because I made a rookie mistake while there today, for the first time in a LONG time....I made eye contact. I made eye contact with a Make up sales person at a kiosk in the middle of the mall. I made eye contact just long enough for her to suck me into her long winded, extremely energetic, crazy intense, very convincing sales pitch. She rubbed sparkly eyeshadows on the back of my hand, smeared lip gloss on my lips, mixed powders and water with Q-tips and before I knew it, she was washing my own make up off my face for me, bragging about the face massage I was about to get. How did this happen? How did I go from being on a major mission to buy a dress for the wedding I'm MCing this weekend, to sitting on a stool in the middle of the mall having a very large Israleian woman with a strangely sexy accent, rub my face with strange powders? When all was said and done, I walked away from my unscheduled stop at the make up kiosk with three new eyeshadows, a foundation, a blusher and not one, but two professional brushes! My first mall rookie mistake was making eye contact, my second was falling for the most amazing sales pitch I have ever heard!!!

Second, I know I have not been to the mall often enough because in my search for an appropriate dress to wear as the MC of a vinyard wedding, I had trouble decifering between tops and dresses. Have ya noticed that lately tops and dresses seem to be the same length? Things that I thought were tops, turned out to be SHORT dresses and things I were sure were dresses ended up being long tops. I'd head to a dressing room and a sales clerk would follow me with leggings and boots to go with the top, I thought was a dress. They'd hang the dress I thought was a top in the dressing room by itself, leaving the tights I had chosen hanging on the door knob outside....good God! Am I really that out of touch????? Seriously, I gotta spend more time in the mall!!!!!

By the time I left today, I had a dress so short, it should be a top, a killer pair of pumps and a bunch of make up. I know for sure that at this wedding, I will have a great face, a skirt on under the "dress" I bought and the sexiest shoes ever!!!!

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