Saturday, November 26, 2011


Ryder, Scout and I are back home! Already I miss Mom and country life, but I am happy to have Ryder back in his Daddy's arms!  I'll admit a part of me was worried he might play "strange" with Marty like he did to everyone else the whole time we were gone.  Marty plucked Ryder out of my arms and I held my breath.... Ryder took one look at Marty's "movember" decorated face and broke out into smiles!!  They were wrestling and giggling within minutes.   I feel like I waited the entire 10 days for someone else to hold Ryder without him bawling so that I could do something..anything, for even just 5 mins without the extra 23 pounds in my arms. It didnt' happen until I got home, and as soon as it did, I felt relief...for about 30 seconds. After that I found myself  hovering, wanting to hold Ryder again myself!  Marty, enjoying time with his son, finally kicked me out of the room. I got to unload the truck and unpack all of our stuff with two free hands.  It was definitely easier than anything else I'd done for the last 10 days with Ryder constantly on my hip, but it felt like something was missing....

I hadn't expected Ryder to go through this "strange" phase where he crys (loud, urgent crys) whenever someone else holds him or I leave the room while I was at Mom's.  He has, up until now, been sooo happy to hang out with anyone and everyone.  I had no idea this phase would hit, let alone so quickly at the most inopportune time!
 I knew Mom wouldn't be able to carry him around for this visit, but I had thought maybe Ryder would hang with Nic or Troy or that he'd play in a room where Mom could watch him while I tackled some of the things I wanted to do for Mom, things he normally does with a big smile on his face.  But that didn't happen. I'd certainly try to leave him playing, or in the arms of his loving Auntie or Uncle, but within minutes (sometimes seconds) Ryder would just start wailing!
In order for me to go outside to do any of the chores, we had to wait until Ryder was napping or we had to strap him in the high chair where mom could feed him puffed wheat (his new favorite!)  I had gone to Mom's with such big plans of organizing and cleaning and "helping," but the reality of being there with Ryder in this needy stage, was that I couldn't do half the things I had planned.  I feel bad about that.  I am glad we got to keep her company, if nothing else.

I am so greatful to be back home where Marty can hold and snuggle Ryder through some of this attachment phase too.  And as tired and sore as I am from not only lugging his adorable 23 pound body around, but being the only one he'll let "finger walk" him around, I know that this stage will pass and soon, I'll be wishing Ryder still wanted to cling to me, so in the meantime, I'll hold him close as long as he needs me too....

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