This is an accidental video as Marty didn't know the camera was on video, so only the very first few seconds are cute....soooo cute!!!

This post is long overdue! I have been wanting to share this with you but other things kept coming up!

Our baby class ended a couple of weeks ago. I actually miss the class, seeing all the adorable babies, hearing everyone's stories and questions and the friendships that were just beginning to form. Thanks to one very well organized girl, we have a Facebook Group, so we are staying in touch and hopefully one day, we'll all get all the babies together again.

It's funny that all 15 of us started this class together back in February full of hope, excitement and a little fear. Together we discussed what to "expect while we're expecting" and learned what to expect during labour. We talked about options for pain management and we all made our birth plans. Every week we watched videos, asked questions, ate yummy treats and sat in a circle, on chairs in pairs. And then, the babies came! Every week there would be a new one or two. We'd laugh or cry with each new family as they told their emotional birth stories and we'd spend the class holding our own babies or wishing ours would be the next to be born! There was something comforting about listening to others ask questions about things that I was experiencing too...crying babies, breast feeding issues (lucky for me I didn't have that trouble at all,) reversed sleep schedules, introduction of soothers, bottles and formula (I still havn't needed formula), using carriers, signing up for extra classes, like infant CPR, our strategies for getting hair cuts, groceries and getting our pre baby bodies back. I miss that network of people and seeing their faces every week....

On the last class, we put all the babies in a circle and took some pics. You can see the ones with tonnes of hair, the biggest ones (Ryder definitely is in the running for that), the smallest ones (there were a couple premies) and the squirmiest ones! Watching the tiny little guys interact was hilarious. No, they didn't really know they were interacting, but if you watch the little video, you will see that they did!!

Cheers to all the couples and all the babies! I miss you guys!

All thirteen babies born in March or April 2011

Check out the hair on the little guy next to Ryder!

Umm, Ryder, where's your pants?? LOL

GRRRRR!

This week is the first week that Ryder has been really fussy! It seems like after his one happy "awake" time in the morning, the rest of his awake times are filled with cries of what I assume is discomfort. His little tummy gets hard and he kicks his legs and grunts and grunts. He seems gassy and agitated and nothing I do seems to offer comfort for longer than a few minutes. This is frustrating for both of us as I just want my happy little boy back. I hate seeing him so upset. Some friends have offered suggestions of "drops" that can help aleviate some of his tummy troubles. Marty is picking them up on his way home from work. Here's hoping they do the trick and our happy, little Ryder comes back!

RYDER'S FIRST WEDDING

Saturday, April 23, Ryder was the youngest guest to attend the wedding of a very good friend. He was exactly 4 weeks and 6 days old but he attended all parts of the event: the ceremony, the gathering for drinks in between the ceremony and reception, the reception and the dance. He wore a button up, white linen shirt and he slept through all parts of the event except the dance.

It was a "Mad Men" themed wedding, so everyone was asked to dress 60's style. Ofcorse I was excited to get a new outfit, however it had never crossed my mind how hard it would be to shop with a baby in tow! And ofcorse I waited until the day before the wedding to head to the mall, which happened to be Good Friday..big mistake! Turns out everyone else in the city was at the mall that day too!! I usually carry Ryder in the "Baby Hawk" carrier I have, but because I thought I was going to try on dresses, I had decided to push Ryder in the stroller...big mistake! Pushing a stroller though a crowded mall and even more crowded stores was impossible and frustrating. I decided to just buy a few outfits, take them home, try them on then return the unwanted ones next week, when I had more time. I left the mall with three outfits and two pairs of shoes. When I got home with my little man and my shopping bags, Marty was home. I dropped Ryder in his lap and raced upstairs to try on the outfits. The mall would be closing in an hour and a half as it was a holiday. I wanted to make sure that at least one of the outfits fit before 5pm when the doors to the mall would be closed and I'd have to go to the wedding naked! Ofcorse, nothing fit! I had totally forgotten about the ginormous size of my boobs and the little muffin top I am still sporting, post baby. Gross!! Everything I tried on looked gross! The only thing that was too big, were the shoes! I certainly did not have time to make a bunch of returns, so I quickly fed Ryder, handed him back to Marty and dashed back to the mall! I bought two more dresses, and hurried back home, praying they fit! The one I decided to wear was a little tight across the middle (um...why do I still look pregnant?) and it bunched a little across the butt (um, why is my butt still so big, I didn't have a baby out of there???) but it would have to do! It zipped up the back so nursing would be challenging, but I would make it work.

The day of the wedding, I put a tank top on over my nursing bra, then zipped the dress up over that. I figured I could totally nurse in public this way. Marty could unzip me, I'd pull down the dress but I wouldn't expose anyone cause I'd have a tank top on, then I could put the nursing apron over that and feed my little guy. I wouldn't have to sit in the bathroom and miss all the fun! I tried to put my hair into a bee hivish doo and I stuffed my feet into heels. Ryder rocked his little linen shirt and Marty wore a 60's style hat. When we pulled up to the church I was surprised to see another couple (the librarian from our school and her husband) dressed almost the same as us! She was wearing the SAME dress as me and he husband sported a hat much like Marty's! We were twin couples! Fun!

Ryder slept in his car seat for the whole ceremony, even the bagpiper didn't wake him up!

We went home between the ceremony and the reception to let Scout out and so that I could feed Ryder. We didn't stay home long as all of our friends were meeting for drinks before the reception and we planned to join them. We visited, ate appetizers and enjoyed a few drinks (only water for me,)and then it was time to head to the wedding reception.

Ryder finally woke up once we sat down at the dinner table. Ofcorse he did! I decided to save the bottle of pumped milk, we had brought for later in the evening choosing to nurse him this time. It was an ordeal! Marty had to unzip me, I had to pull the dress down below my breasts, (remember I was wearing a tank top) then I put the nursing cape over me, Marty passed Ryder to me under the cape and I undid the nursing bra. Ryder ate noisily and happily. AFter that the ladies took over! Everyone one of them wanted the chance to hold him, carry him and soothe him. They were not even rattled when he started fussing. They all had their own strategies for dealing with fussy babies and were eager to try them out. I loved it! I loved that they wanted to calm him and bounce him and pat him. It was a nice break for me, but eventually all Ryder wanted was me and that was nice too! :)

The bride loves Ryder and though it was her day, she went out of her way to make Ryder feel so special at HER wedding. She aknowledged him being the youngest guest in the wedding program, she put him in the cross word the guests were invited to do at their tables, she had the DJs play a song just for him and she carried him around in her beautiful dress!!

Before the end of the evening, the DJs played the song I requested. Sugarland's "stuck on you" is the song, Ryder, Scout and I dance around the living room to every day! Scout actually recognizes the intro of the song now. You should see her get all excited about it. I assume Ryder knows it too and when it began to play, I swooped in and snatched him from the arms that were rocking him and whisked him onto the dance floor. His little fussy cries stopped the minuted I started dancing with him and within seconds, Marty had joined us on the dance floor for a family two step!! The perfect ending to Ryder's first wedding!

HAIR CUT

The last hair cut I had was back in July. The day, I found out I was pregnant. I wacked off my long hair in favor of a shorter doo. That was a decision, I regretted, as I always do when I think I want short hair. I didnt' panic though, as I had always heard that pregnancy hormones, often make your hair grow. I had visions of "middle of the back" hair by the time the baby came so I chose NOT to cut my hair at all the whole time I was pregnant! I spent the 9 months willing the same hormones that made my finger nails and boobs grow, to make my hair grow too....not only did my head hair not grow, but neither did my leg hair...weird!! Instead the color faded, the ends split and by the time Ryder was born, I looked pretty ragged!

The day we left the hospital was my birthday and inside the card Marty brought to the hospital with cupcakes and flowers was a gift certificate for a hair cut at my favorite salon! I couldn't wait to use that certificate...little did I realize it would be a month before I'd be ready to leave Ryder long enough to make that hair cut happen.

As a brand new mom, it never really dawned on me, that as a breastfeeding mom, I wouldn't be able to leave my unpredictable newborn for longer than an hour or so at a time without fear of him waking starving! Reality hit when, after only a week, I was dying to get outside for a walk, some Johnny and Scout time. I fed Ryder, changed his diaper and put him down for a sleep. Figuring I had at least an hour, I left Marty in charge and headed into the fresh evening air with my neglected dog. I made it about half an hour from home, when I got the text, "Where are you? He's melting down!" I ended up running home, though with huge swollen boobs, that was extremely uncomfortable. I walked in the door to the sounds of a wailing baby! Overwhelming feelings of guilt filled my heart. Why was I so selfish? I had put my need for exercise and fresh air ahead of the needs of the precious little guy who depended on me. I beat myself up for that experience for several days. Marty finally convinced me that I was being ridiculous and he reminded me that in order for me to be a good mom, I'd need a little "me time" and in order to get that, he would have to be able to feed Ryder from time to time. That's how we came to the decision that Ryder (who was a breast feeding champ) should get at least one bottle a day. We hoped that would give Marty another way to bond with him and it would prepare them both for times when I might be gone at feeding time.

We had been warned about "nipple confusion" and that "some babies won't take a bottle, ever," but we were confident that our agreeable, happy little guy would adapt to the bottle like he did to most things outside the womb...we were right. He chugged the breast milk out of the bottle the instant Marty offered it to him! It was adorable watching my boys bond like that!!

Knowing that Ryder would take a bottle just as easily as the breast meant that a certain amount of freedom for me was near...at least enough freedom for me to get my hair cut and colored. I pumped twice a day for a few days to ensure that we had enough milk for our daily bottle and also plenty for hair cut day. I had been looking forward to my hair cut for so long, that it surprised me, that on the day of, I had seriousl anxiety about leaving Ryder for that long..actually for leaving him at all! I hadn't anticipated feeling like that at all! I figured I'd easily be able to take parts of my life back. I figured the introduction of the bottle would mean all kinds of freedom that I'd never hesitate to take advantage of....I was wrong! I wasn't worried about leaving Ryder with Marty, I knew they'd be fine. He is a great Dad! I wasn't worried about Ryder screaming with starvation, he had plenty of milk waiting in the fridge. I was genuinely sad to be leaving him, worried I'd miss something great, or that he'd miss me or worse, he wouldn't! I contemplated cancelling the appointment and waiting until Ryder was a little older, but Marty, who was looking forward to his one on one time, convinced me to just "go!"

I arrived at the salon and ofcorse they were running behind. I waited 15 minutes before deciding I couldn't take it anymore and was about to reschedule my appointment when the hairdresser was ready for me. I knew the appointment would take at least 2 hours (always does when I get highlights) so I figured I could still be home by 8pm (that would make three hours in total that I was gone) so I kept my appointment and settled into the chair. I explained to the stylist that this was my first time away from my baby and I was a nervous wreck. I apologized in advance for being distracted, constantly checking my phone and for my fatigued state. She had two boys of her own and was very understanding. I ended up falling asleep in the chair while my hair was processing so I must have relaxed a little but by the time she started blow drying my hair I was sooo ready to go home!! She pulled the brush through my hair with precision and cut layers upon layers until I was ready to rip the scissors from her hands! I have never been in such a hurry to leave the salon before. By the time I got home, it had been exactly three hours and Ryder was sleeping peacefully on Marty's chest. The boys were fine, and once I plucked him off Marty and held, Ryder close, so was I!!

Ryder's one month birthday was also the day of the baby shower my sister's and my mom threw for him. Aimee came up from Colorado with Max, Friday to meet her new nephew and to help celebrate!

Aim, loving all the little ones!! :)

Mom decorated cupcakes like rattles! They turned out perfect!

Nic came Sunday morning with a diaper cake, that she made ofcorse! Sooo adorable!

There were games and fun, "boy" decorations!

All the guests got onesies to write "welcome to the world" Ryder messages on. They were hung on this adorable clothes line!! Cool idea, guys!

Mom, Nic and Aim thought of everything, including displaying pics of Me, Ryder and Marty as babies...

I feel soo lucky to have such an awesome, thoughtful family, willing to fly in and drive from so far away for such a short time! They went above and beyond to make Ryder and I feel super special! :)

The shower was so much fun! It was great to show Ryder off to all of my friends. Everyone got to cuddle him. He was a real trooper, sleeping through the entire party!! I was having so much fun visiting that I didn't get many photos of the party itself. Mom captured all of it and I would love to post a pic of Ryder in his shower outfit, with all his friends, but we'll have to wait until I get the pics from mom.

Everyone else only stayed for the day, but Aim and Max stayed for 5! We had a great time, just letting the cousins and Scout bond.

Ofcorse, winter returned in time for Aim and Max's visit so we went for some walks, but they were not warm ones....

We showed Max about being Canadian....

Max and Ryder tried to play together.......adorable!!

Aim, got to cuddle with her Canadian nephew...

Max "kid proofed" Scout for us.....

Uncle Marty got to bond with Max too....

....and we had Dance Parties in the living room!!!

I can't wait for Ryder and Max to be old enough to really have fun together....

I've been a mom for just over 3 weeks now and I can barely remember life not as a mom...okay not really true. There are things from that previous life I do remember. I remember I used to sleep for 7 or 8 hours straight, I used to be able to run several errands at once, jumping in and out of my truck for a quick stop here and a quick stop there. I used to accomplish several tasks around the house in an hour, let alone what I used to be able to do if I had a whole day at home! I used to drink coffee with caffeine in it and I used to get dressed and put on my "face" without stopping a hundred times to cuddle....but I also remember that before I became a mommy, I had to get up and go to work 5 days a week, I used to have to answer the phone and cook for myself. I had no excuse for a messy home, I had smaller boobs and no beautiful baby boy. I guess the trade off is fair.

Though it feels like I've gotten nothing done this week, somehow it has felt busy!!

On Day 19 I took Ryder out to the farm to meet Dirt Face. My friend Christina and her dog Dora joined, Ryder, Scout and I out there for the visit. Unfortunatly it was crazy windy down by the barn, so I didn't even take Ryder out of the carrier I had him in, but Dirt got to see him. That day we also took Ryder to an after hours clinic to have them check out his belly button which was mildly infected...it is almost all better now.

Day 21, Ryder officially outgrew his first "newborn" sleeper. I knew it was "official" because I tried to stuff him in it just to make sure....it was my favorite one, but now it is done!

Day 22, I took Ryder to a "Baby Wearing class" and it changed our lives!! We learned how to use every kind of baby carrier out there, including the ones I already had. The instructor spoke so passionately about baby wearing, explaining how she often carries more than one child at once (one on her back and one on her front) all day long, that I became a convert! I purchased a "mai tai" style carrier called the "Baby Hawk" and vowed to leave the car seat in the car!!

I also pumped my first bottle of breast milk this day. I have a double electric pump, though I only pumped one breast. Our plan is to start giving Ryder one bottle a day, so that he gets used to it and so that Marty can have a turn feeding him too and that maybe one day soon, I'll be able to leave them both long enough to get a hair cut!!

Day 23: Marty and Ryder had a little snuggle...they are soo adorable!

I also proudly "wore my baby" all day! The freedom was incredible, I even got to take Scout off leash as I wasn't confined to a paved stroller path! The experts even say you should be able to nurse in the sling, hands free while you carry on about your business...I did it! Well the first time, was in the carrier, while I was sitting in the doc's office. We had taken Ryder there to have them check up on his circumcision...it's all good. The next time, I got a little braver and nursed him while walking around the house, just to see if I could...I definatly need a little more practie before doing that at home...but I did it!

Day 24: I took Ryder in his carrier to the registrar's office to get his birth certificate ordered. I also decided to hit the grocery store. With Ryder in the Baby Hawk we shopped quickly and efficiently filling the cart, even the space where the car seat normally would have to sit with produce! Just as I was heading for the till to pay, Ryder woke up and apparently he was HUNGRY!! He began wailing and though I had seen a "washroom" sign while i was shopping with all the crying in my ear, I couldn't remember where it was. I calmly sat down in the next best place, the "blood pressure" checking area in the pharmacy section. There were chairs there so I made myself comfortable, kept Ryder in the carrier and fed the little guy. It was after noon by now and I was getting hungry myself, so I pulled the cart closer, grabbed a box of cereal and helped myself.

Later that evening, we dressed Ryder up in his preppy outfit ( a hand me down from Max), that is still too big, but adorable and headed to my school. They were putting on a performance and Marty, Ryder and I were going to be a part of the audience. I was anxious the whole time that Ryder would wake up and want to eat, but lucky for all of us he slept through the entire show. I did not want to nurse at school...awkward! The students and teachers alike were soo excited to see him and I was proud to show him off!!

Tomorrow, Aim and Max fly in from Colorado. I cannot wait to spend time with them but I'd really like to get my floor swept before they get here....that is the only thing I have to do today..here's hoping I can make that happen...

THE FIRST 2.5 WEEKS

It has only been 18 days since Ryder's birth, but already I feel like so much has happened that I am gonna forget it all...I dont' want to. There have been soo many firsts for both he and I and Marty that I feel like if I don't write them down, I'll never remember and some things I just don't want to forget. He'll get married one day and I'll wanna give a funny speech about how adorable he was as a baby.....

Day 0 (March 20th) Ryder was born! We spent the day in our post labour room, staring at our new son, just loving him to death!!

He had his first bath that night in the little nursery...he didn't enjoy it as much as he does now.

Day 1: It was my birthday and though we spent the first half of it in the hospital, it was still the best birthday of my life. Marty brought me chocolate cupcakes, flowers and a card. :)

That afternoon, we took him home forever!! :)

We called all our loved ones and I settled into the routine of being topless most of the day!

Ryder got his first flowers from his aunties and his Grandma J.

Marty spent hours with Ryder on his chest. Father and son, bonding. :)

Day 2: The public health nurse popped by. She didn't even call first, she just showed up. She had come to weigh Ryder and check on our breast feeding progress.

Day 3: The Doula came by to talk to Ryder about his birthday. We had an amazing evening, reliving the whole birth experience. Again, we are sooo happy that Leanne was a part of Ryder's big entrance into the world!!

Ryder also had his first bath at home this night...we used a bowl like they did at the hospital, but quickly realized, our little plastic whale tub was way better for bathing than the dog's big water dish....

Day 4: This was Ryder's first doc. appt where he got weighed and checked out by the docs at the maternity clinic. They were running 2 hours behind, so I got to try breast feeding in public too...ok, they actually had a special room for nursing mothers, thank god! I wasn't quite ready to do that in public yet...

Another epic event happened on day 4...that was the first day I got peed on by my little boy. I had no idea that was gonna be the first of many, many, many "peed on incidents!"

Day 5: Ryder met his Auntie Dic and Grandma J for the first time!! It was so special to be able to show off my little boy!

Day 6: Ryder met his Grandpa Jim, his Grandma Trish and their dog Angel.

Day 9: Grandma T and I took Ryder to our Family Doctor, so he could meet her for the first time. She confirmed that yes, he is a healthy, healthy little boy who has indeed gained back his birth weight!

First time, my boob leaked right through my shirt!! I had always heard this could happen, but didn't really think it would. I laughed out loud!

Day 12: I could button up my pre pregnancy jeans!! (Notice I said I COULD button them up, that doesn't necessarily mean I could comfortably wear them...)

Day 13: I woke up to Marty making fun of me for drooling in bed. I didn't tell him this, but I knew from the size of the puddle, that it wasn't drool. Apparently my boob had been leaking milk all night!!!

Ryder puked on me for the first time. I was holding him over my shoulder and he spewed milk all over, just missing Scout who was innocently lying by my feet. I figured she'd lap up the mess, but not even Scout would touch that sour old breast milk!!

We took Ryder to the mall for the first time and then to Costco!

This was also Marty's birthday. We went with Marty's Dad and Trish to the Keg for dinner to celebrate, Ryder's first restaurant dinner. I was extremely anxious about having to breastfeed in public, but I did it and I'm glad, now I know I can!!!

Day 15: Circumcision Day!! I've already written about that one and since that day, I've been getting peed on hourly!! Lucky for me!