Tuesday, July 29, 2008


Grrr, I am sooo frustrated, it is almost midnight and I have wasted the last 2 hours, tearing apart my house looking for something and I still havn't found it!!! I hate it when I open a closet or drawer, and the thing I am looking for is not there! I am one of those anal organized people who always lives by the following mantra "there's a place for everything and everything in it's place." I always put things away, well almost always. Apparently, occasionaly I lose things, like this shoulder bag, backpacky type thing that I can't find. I am going on a little "girl's retreat" tomorrow for a couple of days and we are planning a hike. Since Marty won't be there to carry the big back pack with all the supplies, I planned to bring my little shoulder bag. I gathered up the bear spray, a water bottle, some kleenex, a couple zip lock bags, a knife and some other essentials and carried them upstairs. I piled the stuff on the floor, ready to pop it all into the bag, opened the closet door and....no bag to be found. Wait, that is inaccurate, there were plenty of bags, duffle bags, Lulu Lemon bags, mesh bags, sleeping bags, and handbags, but no green MEC shoulder bag. I closed the closet door, paused for a minute and then opened the door again, only to dig through all of the bags I had just seen. Am I the only one who does that? Goes through the whole process of lifting everything up again, moving everything again, dumping everything out again, because I am sure I must have missed it the first time? I doubt it, everyone does that, but I do it three or four times. I find myself in this trance of denial, I refuse to look anywhere else, there is no where else it could be, it has to be in this closet! Ofcorse anyone who knows me, knows that my search always starts out peaceful enough, me opening the closet, gently moving things around a little, sighing with minor frustration, then closing the closet, but it always escalates to the point where I am slamming closet doors, tossing things around and having a loud, whiny verbal fit involving several unpleasant four letter words. I am angry with no one, except the bag for not being in the damn closet. Then I hear the TV downstairs, where Marty is laying on the couch, relaxing, enjoying some down time after a day of work, unaware that the bag is not in the closet. For no logical reason this annoys me, here I am suffering severe frustration and rage and there he is, holding down the couch without a care in the world. I start thinking, "if it were him that lost something, I'd help him look for it, I'd join in the random search for the missing object, or at least I'd empathize, with a 'sorry honey, I don't know where it could be'. " Eventually he can't ignore me running up and down the stairs, slamming drawers and closet doors anymore and he starts asking if I've checked in different places, "Did you check the coat closet downstairs? Did ya look in your car? How about the garage?" This is NOT what I was looking for in terms of his participation in my quest! My frustration with the bag, turns to frustration with Marty, why doesn't he get off the couch and help me look, like that would magically make the bag appear. The beautiful thing about Marty is that he doesn't get excited like I do, he doesnt' engage me when I am in a fury like this, he just lays on the couch, watching his stupid Deep Sea Fishing show, until I eventually, surrender and admit defeat in my search. I decide that the bag is gone forever and the only choice i have is to move on with my life. This is the point in the game where Marty decides to get off the couch, and do a little quiet searching of his own. I know that he is secretly hoping he can be the hero and find the bag for me, actually I am too, but unfortunately this time, Marty also comes up empty handed. Damn it, I really need that bag!
I hate loosing stuff, like I said, that doesn't usually happen to me. Marty is the same, we are both really good at putting stuff where it goes, especially important stuff, like passports. I know that mine is in my underwear drawer, that is where I went to find it for our trip, and that is exactly where it was. Stuff like that, like finding things when I know where they are, makes me happy, it really is the little things eh?
I have lost a couple of important things though. When my Grandpa passed away we were each given 1000$. I remember that I planned to use half of it to buy hay for my horses and the other half, I put in a safe spot, under my mattress. I refused to put it in the bank, because I figured I'd spend it, i wanted to just save it! I moved the money several times due the fact that my living arrangements have changed often. I remember at one point moving the money to my wood shed, and I also remember hiding it in the motorhome i lived in while my house was being built. When it came time to leave the motorhome, I couldn't find the money! I looked everywhere, in every pocket of every shirt, in every boot, in every cup and thermos, in the fridge and freezer, in all of my favorite hiding spots, but I couldn't find it! I went as far as taking all of the wood out of the shed, and putting it all back in hopes of finding that 5oo bucks! That was almost 5 years ago now and I have once again had to surrender the search and admit that the money is gone forever, but I am not gonna lie, every now and then I put on some boots I havn't worn in a long time and expect the money to be stashed way down in the toe.

I gotta get to bed, it is well after midnight and the bag is obviously not going to fall into my lap. Guess I'll put all the hiking gear into the big backpack, the one that is stained with Marty's salty sweat, and be a big girl and carry it myself on the hike!
Since I'll be in Radium until Friday, I wont' be able to update this blog until after the weekend. Here's hoping we all have some fantastic adventures!

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