Wednesday, March 9, 2011


38 weeks! Yippppeeee! I am soooo excited and scared and excited!! We have learned alot about labour pain management through our pre natal classes and from our Doula. I understand that labour is not gonna be pretty and we have discussed our plan for handling that, I am ready for....I'm ready for the fatigue (cant' sleep at all these days), ready for the crying, the burping, the pooping, all of the stuff that comes with babies. I have been waiting my whole life for the challenge of raising a baby, and I'm not saying I know exactly what I'm gonna do in every situation, but I am ready to do what it takes to handle it. What I am not ready for are the following things, the things, no one talks about, the things my book, "The Pregnancy Coutndown" says will happen:

"The bunch of grapes in your behind. Hemorrhoids, caused by the strain of pushing.

Being a peeing monsoon. Your body needs to rid itself of all the extra fluid, and your bladder may have trouble emptying fully, because it became stretched out.

You won't always make it to the bathroom. After vaginal birth, especially if you had a big baby, you won't have great control over your bladder or your BMs for a few weeks."

What I and probably millions of other first time mothers to be have been led to believe is that after the baby is born, our biggest body struggle will be breast feeding, sore nipples and maybe a sore abdomen if you've had a C-section. Up until a few months ago, I truly believed that all I'd have to worry about after surviving labour would be fatigue and mastitis.
Then one day, a girlfriend of mine showed up with a box of extra long, super absorbant maxi pads and instructions to wet them, place them in ziplock baggies and stick them in the freezer. She said I would need these "vagicles" after returning home from the hospital. Ummm, what????? Not too long ago, my sister casually mentioned that I might want to invest in some good old fashion Granny Panties, the kind you can fit maxi pads into. "Why?" I asked, she then informed me of the days, sometimes weeks worth of fluids that need to come out of me....GROSSSSSSSSS!!! I had not anticipated any of this and I'd be lying if I said it didn't make me a little anxious and grossed out.
I am still not at the point where I am buying into the whole "Birth is a Miracle" thing yet....I am sure that I will change my tune within the next three weeks, but right now, my thoughts of childbirth are clouded with thoughts of GROSSSSSS!!!

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