VANITY

Ok, so we got home from our Ski Trip, after getting engaged, on Monday, Feb.2nd.  The minute we walked in the door, I called the "nail" place near my house.  I was hoping to get gel nails before going to work the next day, so that when I showed off my ring, I would have hands and nails that would do it justice.  I have ugly, ugly hands.  My skin is dry, my fingers are stubby and short, my knuckles are large and more "manly" than dainty and there is more grime under my nails than in some mud puddles!  For the first time in a long time, I had this urge to pretty them up.  I figured gel nails would give them the feminine look my beautiful engagement ring deserved.  Lucky for me, there was one appointment left at 7pm.  I took it!  I've had nails before, for various occasions, but not in years.  What I don't like about getting nails, I quickly remembered, is that you have to sit still, for a long time!  The esthetician asked me if I was uncomfortable and that is when I realized that even at a thirty-something, I am too hyper to sit still!!!!  I was horrified to realize that she did not clean the grime out from under my nails at all.  She simply lectured me in her asian accent, about how gross it was, then she covered it up with the gel.  She basically created a curtain of gel to cover up how gross my own nails are! I had explained to her that I am pretty active and therefore did not want long nails, just a little tip with a French manicure, that would be natural and easy.  I guess her idea of "short" and mine, were pretty different, which I didn't realize right away.  I left the salon with beautifully groomed, perfectly shaped French manicured nails and met Maria for a coffee. She was the first one to see both my new nails and my ring!  She loved both and I left our coffee date feeling on top of the world!  

The next day, however, I discovered that this length was not appropriate for my lifestyle!  First of all, typing became a challenge!  My fingers no longer fit on the keys and I kept hitting more than one key at a time.  I couldn't text on my cell phone at all and I couldn't get the flat magnets off my white board at school!  Ridiculous!  "People do this all the time" I kept telling myself, "you'll get used to it."  But texting and typing remained a frustrating act, demanding too much time and concentration and magnet removing became a task I assigned to students.  Today, Sunday, almost a week later, I decided to take matters into my own hands.  Certainly, the thought of calling the salon and asking them to file down the nails had crossed my mind, but so did the thought of sitting still in a chair while someone meticulously filed down these gel nails.  I had a perfectly capable set of nail clippers in my make up bag.  I grabbed them and began snipping away at the tips of the fake nails.  That gel is hard!!!  I'd chip off a piece and it would go flying, at one point I thought I should go get some safety glasses.  Instead I just looked away and cut off the nails on all of my fingers.  I am not much of a filer, that is way too precise and it takes too long. This was a quick, painless, process that created a much more reasonable nail on the end of each fingertip. Each fingertip except my right thumb.  The nail on that thumb was way to thick and I didn't have the strength in my left hand to snip it off.  When Maria came over today, I asked her to please help me trim my thumb nail.  Maria didn't even blink an eye at this strange request (she has been hanging out with me long enough not to be phased by my eccentricities.)  We walked over to the sink and she clipped my nail as we both turned away so as to avoid the flying chips of gel.  She agreed the length was much more suited to me and then she reminded me I needed to file them so that they looked shaped.  We both smiled and changed the subject.  We both know that that will never happen.  I dont' have the patience,nor the co-ordination to make that happen.  From a distance these nails still look pretty damn good and that is good enough for me!  

If Marty didnt' have the camera with him in Red Deer, I would take a photo of my man hands turned feminine but until I can, you will just have to use your imagination! :)