WAX ON!

Do you know exactly what your parents do at work? Think about it. As a kid, if someone asked you, "What does your Dad or Mom do for work?" Could you answer that question? Could you give more than just a title? Can you, now as an adult, give a better answer about your Mom or Dad's work? Heck do you even know exactly what your spouse or your best friend does? Chances are, that if they are not in the same office or field as you are, probably not.

My Dad was an audiologist, an ear specialist. Here's what I know to be facts about his job:

-He'd leave the house very early every morning with his "go mug" of instant coffee and a brown brief case with gold latches and a combination lock. (I always wondered what exactly one keeps in a brief case that locks?)

-He had his own office, which I always thought was really cool.

-He tested people's hearing. I have a vague memory of what this involved. I was must have been really young the last time he tested my ears. Since neither of my sisters could be reached at time of publishing this blog, I am gonna assume that my memory of the hearing test, is accurate. We'd sit in a booth with windows that faced Dad who was on the other side of the glass, sitting in front of a panel of switches. We'd put headphones on and he'd play sounds for us. I can't remember exactly what we did to signal to him that we heard the sound, but if we did it right a stuffed rabbit or some other "woodland creature" would play a drum in the corner of the sound booth.

-He had a really cool 3D model of the inner ear and as both a teacher and a student, I took that model to school to share with my classmates, big and small.

-He loved to have work parties at our farm. Taking his friends on bumpy, crazy drives in our 1971 Chevy Blazer through our golpher hole infested horse pasture made him laugh and his friends kiss the ground when they finally drove back into the yard.

-He gave an interview on the news once on his views about Cochlear inplants.

That's it, tha'ts all I truly know for sure about what my Dad did at work. I know that at home he did not like me to use Q-tips to clean my ears and for some reason I loved to clean my ears. In fact, I still do. Like, I really love it. I love the feeling of twirling a Q-tip around inside my ear as much as I love the feeling of pulling it out and seeing a big glob of yellow goo on the end of it! I love that!!! For the last three weeks, I have not been able to properly clean my ears with the forbidden Q-tip. It's just not the same, using my left hand all by itself without having the right one to pull the top of my ear tight enabling the Q-tip to get good and deep. It's not the same, reaching across my face, trying to dig inside my right ear with my left hand. Oh, how I miss using Q-tips. That will be one of the things I will truly savor when this collar bone heals!

DISHES

What is your dishwasher style? Do you believe in loading the dirty, food smeared dishes right from the dinner table into the dishwasher? Or are you a believer in heavy rinsing prior to loading any dish? Do you have strict rules regarding the loading procedure? Are you the type that will remove dishes that have not been properly rinsed or placed in the proper spot? Or are you the type that loads everything, everything in the dishwasher, rolling pins, pots, pans, big knives? Do you put your cutlery in the rack fork tines up or down? Do you even have a dishwasher?

We have a dishwasher and I am a rinser, not a heavy rinser, but a rinser. I like to load as much as possible into my dishwasher, but I do wash pots and pans in the sink. I don't stick to a strategic loading plan and I like my fork tines and knife blades pointed down.

I guess today, I just felt like giving a shout out to one of my favorite appliances! Cheers!

DRIVIN'!!

Didn't end up going to work, Tuesday. I just wasn't ready. Today, I went in for half the day and I drove myself. Until this afternoon, I had not driven at all since my bike accident. Until today, i had not driven with the use of only one arm...the left one!! When driving with the use of only your left arm, you gotta be sure, before you leave your driveway, that you are happy with the volume of your stereo, the temperature coming out of your vents and the directions of them cause there is NO CHANGING ANYTHING!

There is no multi tasking, no eating or texting or talking on the phone, nothing to do but drive!! I guess that's not a bad thing, just...different from the way I normally roll!

MEASUREMENT OF TIME

I guess it hasn't even been 2 weeks since I got injured (though it feels a lot longer). Until just now when I counted the days, I didn't even know how many, but I could have told you:

-I have used one whole roll of toilet paper in the bathroom upstairs (Marty had to open the new roll on day 2, I just tore the plastic off the 2nd roll by myself yesterday)

-I hav gone through three pans of home made energy bars (2 different girlfriends came over and made me a batch and just this morning Marty, under my supervision, made the third batch.

-I have washed my sling once (though I am sure it needs it more)

-I have only had my armpits shaved once, I've been able to shower on my own lately, but I still can't reach that armpit, ewwwwww!!

-I have read 4 gossip magazines and seen numerous re runs of "The Real Housewives" shows.

-I've been to see the horses once (that was overdoing it)

-I majorly re injured myself once, while attempting to put on a hoodie by myself.

-I've had to cut off 2 shirts (the first was the one I was wearing at the time of accident, the second, was one I managed to wiggle into, but COULD NOT get out of!)

-I've recieved one boquet of flowers, 3 books, a huge box of jelly bellies, some home made baking, a 4 pack of coolers, several notes, cards and laughs.

-I've been to the doc's three times- once the night of accident = Emergency, once to a walk in clinic for a note allowing me to stay home from work and once to the Bone Specialist where I learned that in addition to my broken collar bone, I have cracked my scapula in 2 places.

-I've been to the dog park only twice!

-I've sat in the sun on my driveway in a lawn chair twice

-I've been to one photography class, but I can't lift my camera high enough to take any pictures!

-I've been bored EVERY DAY!!!

I am thankful that this is only temporary and I am trying to keep positive. Tomorrow, i will attempt to go to work. I am anxious about it, but want to try and see if I can handle it! Wish me luck!

One hand woman!

I have been getting used to getting dressed feet first. I cannot lift my right arm above my boob (this is an improvement since in the beginning I couldn't lift my arm at all.) I managed to wiggle, with Marty's help into a long sleeved tee shirt this morning, only to discover that it was actually too hot for long sleeves. I had to bug him again (thank God he works from home alot) to help me wiggle out of the shirt. I chose another tank top from my drawer that looked stretchy enough to pull up feet first. I got it almost all the way on and then, I got stuck!!! Marty, sighed, as I interrupted him once again, and helped my arms slide into the straps. It was a tight squeeze, I am pretty sure I am going to have to have him to cut this one off...how many tops must be sacrificed?

I had a shower by myself yesterday for the first time since the accident. Have you tried to shampoo your hair with one hand? Your left hand??? Once I finally managed to squeeze the liquid out of the bottle, I had a little puddle of it in the palm of my hand. All I could do, was tip my hand over on top of my head which just created a puddle of shapoo on the very top of my head. I did the best I could to smear the soap through all of my hair, it's hard to get the long part, but I think I managed.....

I cant' stand the bangs in my eyes or my hair on my neck right now, especially because it is not curled or anything. I have tried to work the curling iron with my left hand but I just end up with weird kinks and burnt cheeks....while my hair was wet, I grabbed my bangs in my left hand, twisted them and hoped it would hold long enough for me to pry apart a bobby pin with one hand and stick it into the wet, twisted bangs. I did the same with my long hair. I twisted it, tipped my head forward so the wet hair would balance the nape of my neck while I grabbed a clip and quickly tried to squeeze as much hair as possible into that clip....I know, Iknow, you are thinking, why the hell are you trying to do your hair???? I just can't stand the feel of it on my shoulders and neck right now and, yes, I am that vain. I can't just sit around feeling gross. I have also been painting my eyebrows on with my left hand, also an interesting event....

HAIR DRESSER

I was not ready to stand long enough to take a shower today, my whole right side was just too sore. I was still pretty dirty after my wreck, and my hair was matted. I couldn't take the feeling of it on my neck, so I had to convince Marty to braid it for me. A ponytail was not an option as I was gonna be laying down alot and a pony tail would be uncomfortable. Marty was a great sport and he braided hair for the first time in his life. For him, the hard part was figuring out how to put the elastic in the end of the braid.

So far, Marty has been an amazingly patient nurse. Over the course of the last two days, my incredible nurse/hubby, has braided my hair, put on my deoderant for me, shaved my arm pits and taken stellar care of me!!

SWEATY SHORTS

While in Emergency, I was told that I needed to give a urine sample, like i had to pee in a cup. The nurse led me, dressed in my spandex bike shorts and tank top to the washroom. I had warm hospital sheets wrapped around me, but once the door was closed, i had to set them on the counter in order not to pee on them. I very tenderly and carefully lowered myself down on the seat. I awkwardly placed the collection container between my legs and hoped for the best. I was in too much pain to bend over, so when I stood up and looked down at the sweaty spandex shorts pooled around my ankles, I almost cried! Seriously?! How the hell was I gonna pull up that sweaty mess with my left hand when I couldn't even bend over??? I dont know how, but i managed, thank god. Imagine how uncomfortable Marty would have been had i needed to summon him to hold the pee collection cup while i peed and to pull up my bike shorts? The best thing about Marty, though, is that he would have done it and he wouldn't have made me feel stupid! I am lucky!