PMS

It's over!! After 11.5 months of "nursing," Ryder, he is weaned.  For him, the process seemed easy, like he barely noticed that his milk supply now comes exclusively from a plastic nipple. He is happy to be eating most solids and drinking the Homo Milk.  Me? I am NOT happy!! I've been an emotional, hormal, weepy disaster! Physically, my boobs are hard as rocks, lumpy, tender and sore as hell. I can barely hold Ryder against me at all! Owie!!!!! Emotionally, I am a wreck!  My baby doesn't need me as his source of food anymore, (yes, I realize that's always been the ultimate goal,) he's turning ONE in a few days, I am heading back to work in less than three weeks, and I'm moody, irrationally grouchy, happy, then sad..an emotional wreck!! Yep, if feels like PMS, something I havn't experienced for almost 2 years now, and I didn't miss it one bit!!!  I wonder if I even have any tampons under the sink..oh great, this is gonna be fun (again, yes, I know this was always the ultimate goal: get my pre pregnancy body back, even the bloody parts...)

A WEEKEND WITH THE COLES

March 8th, was Max's 2nd birthday! I cannot believe he is two already!!! Last year, I had to miss his first birthday party as I was super pregnant, like ready to pop! There was no way, I could fly to Colorado to celebrate with Aim and Shane, but this year, I was not gonna miss the party!! Mom came to Calgary so that we could fly out of the same city together.  It was nice having an extra set of hands ready to help with my own busy little almost one year old!  We arrived in Colorado on Thursday afternoon and spent the next 4 days loving two of the cutest cousins ever and soaking up sister/mother/daughter time!!

 Ryder "helped" Gramma at the airport!

Ready or not, Coles, here we come!!!!

We were sooo lucky to be able to fly in early enough to see Max enjoy his birthday cupcake! Yummmy!!

 The weather was fantastic!  We got to go to a park almost every day!

 Max was sooo good about sharing his sand toys. Ryder did a lot of watching, but by the end of the trip

he was "digging" too! 

 Ryder learned sooo much from his big cousin Max!!!

Ryder did his best to follow Max everywhere!!

Ryder didn't learn to ride a bike yet, but he sure loved watching Max show him how!!

It didn't take long before Ryder, was sliding all by himself!

 We spent one morning at the most amazing Bookstore! The kid section was awesome!!

 Ryder had tonnes of toys to choose from, but he mostly wanted to play with Jasper and the "chuck it!"

 Just hangin' in the sunshine with Auntie!

 Max had this amazing train table in his livingroom! Ryder preferred to destroy the track. He wasnt really "into" making the trains go round and round, but Max sure was! :)

 There was lots of times for Gramma cuddles and stories!

 My favorite night, was the one where the three of us "built" the birthday cake, Max would get to enjoy at his party!  Ofcorse, we sure missed Nic's expertise on the design, but we hope she's proud of what we managed to create on our own...Nic, you were missed big time!!!

Yep, it's Thomas!!

 The party was soo much fun! Great food, great family, great caos..

 ...oh and a great deal of blood!! Poor Ryder! He tripped and wacked his face on the train table!! 

This was his first split lip. The first time I saw blood come out of his face!

The first time we were both in tears together!!!  After a popsicle the swelling went down and he 

didn't even get a fat lip!!

 Ryder recovered in time to watch Max blow out his candles! 

Yummmy!!!!!

 Elodie and Julie came to celebrate too! 

 Awwww! This melts my heart!! Seriously! How adorable is this? 

The "big" two year old!!! I love him!!

The almost one year old!! I love him too!!

Thanks, Aim, Shane and Max for makin' memories with us!! Here's hopin' your bathroom recovers and  your lives are back to normal!! Thanks, for making room for us and all our caos!!

FOLLOW UP

This is a link to something that is a perfect follow up to my post yesterday

Kara Gebhart Uhl: Apologies To The Parents I ... - Huffington Post

MOM OF THE YEAR

I'd like to tell you I  got to the bathroom in time to stop Ryder from putting the yellow, plastic ring toy he had obviously dropped into and then retrieved out of the toilet into his mouth this morning...but I didn't!! Ooops!!  While I am able to laugh at this (thank God we are in the habit of keeping our toilet flushed after each use) some of you may be shaking your heads, thinking, "rookie!!"

I know, I know, I am a rookie, but I have almost made it through my first year as a "Mom!"
I have made decisions and done things that may make some shake their heads and others laugh, but they've all become memories of my "rookie year."

There were the times, 

-I brushed my teeth while holding Ryder, everything was fine until I attempted to spit over his head into the sink...I misestimated the size of his head and the arc of my spit..oops

- I let go of him for one second to wipe poop off the wall while he was on the change table, he rolled off. Scared the hell out of both of us...ooops!

- I let him play with the toilet seat lid, even though his fingers got smashed...ooops

-I let him lick the pop can he so desperately wanted, until he cut his finger on the top of it..oops

There were the times I was just too tired to stop him from,

-eating sand at the playground

-licking rocks off the ground in the yard, the same yard the dog does her business in...

- sucking on Scout's very hairy collar

-sticking his tongue to various fences at the farm, zoo and park (don't worry, I make a bigger effort to stop this in the winter, if the fences are metal...)

There are the times it's easier to,

-let him and Scout share chew toys, then to take them away and listen to both baby and dog wine

-let him eat Dirt Face's oats, so I can actually brush the horse without a baby in one arm

- let him eat dog food out of the bucket than watch him try to steal it right out of the dog's mouth

-play in the dishwasher, than to discourage his interest in it

-empty the lower pantry shelves than to cook with him in my arms

While some of you are shaking your heads, some of you are laughing and Ryder and I are filing these away as memories that have helped shape our first year together!

Never a dull moment around here, ever! 

IN MY ARMS

For the last two days, Ryder has fallen asleep for his naps in my arms....I know, I know, it's not a good habit to start.  I should just put him in his crib awake so that he can learn to "self sooth" I should walk away and let him cry, I should close the door, and not turn on the monitor for at least 10 minutes...blah, blah, blah!!   All of the things I "should" do run briefly through my head but the thoughts flutter away again just as quickly when I begin rocking my "growing up too fast" boy in my arms.  One look at his droopy little eyelids, his chubby cheeks moving in rythm as he sucks his pacifier, his pudgy fingers kneading his blanket, and his chest rising and falling with each relaxed breath and I cannot bring myself to  let go of him.

Normally I read a couple of stories, he happily sucks his soother and clutches his blanket, rubbing the tags.  Normally, he is so relaxed at the end of the stories that I do. I gently lay him in his crib, turn to walk away and...his eyes pop open.  He scrambles to stand up and begins chucking things out of his crib. His soothers, his blankets, the stuffed animals I didn't even know he could reach, they all get tossed onto the floor, while he sometimes babbles and sometimes hollers for me. Normally, I do. I shut the door, walk away and leave the monitor off for ten minutes. More often than not, he falls asleep by the time I turn the monitor on. But, with my back to work date rapidly approaching, I've been feeling all emotional and clingy.
After the stories are read and he is super relaxed, I've taken to rocking the chair and singing. Yep, singing.  Seriously, I know what you are thinking, especially if you've heard me sing, but honestly, Ryder is one of the few people in this world, not counting Scout, or the fourth grade French Students who could never get enough of my rendition of, "Je suis un Pizza," who truly, truly appreciates my singing.  (At least he hasn't complained about it yet..)

He can't sing along and he doesn't really understand all of the words yet ofcorse, which makes it easy to make them up when I run out of the ones I know to the lullabyes. (I have come up with some pretty clever rymes too, if I do say so myself, not always age appropriate and not always PG, but always funny!)

It never ceases to amaze me, that I can put anyone to sleep this way.  The rocking, the snuggling, the singing.  I love it!! I love the way it feels to have my sleeping baby in my arms. I love it more than caring about what I am supposed to do to create good sleep habits, and I love it more than caring if I spelt lullabyes right or wrong....(Yes, Nic, I can tell it looks wrong....) I love it too much to put him in his crib, even when my arm starts to fall asleep and the phone starts ringing and the timer on the muffins I'm baking is going off....

He obviously isn't sleeping in my arms here, but he is sleeping..isn't he perfect???

Everynight, before bed, I line up Ryder's trucks. My version of putting them away.
The other day, as I sat down on the couch, to rest my exhausted, happy, mommy's feet, I noticed the smiles. The happy, joyful, permanent, ear to ear grins seemed to be just for me. They seemed to say, "Good job, Mom! Another, fun, playful day! Baby is peacefully sleeping..for now, and you deserve a great big smile!!!"  Now, every time I look at one of Ryder's trucks (his new obsession) I can't help but let myself get wrapped up in their big, plastic, painted on smiles!
Is it weird that smiling plastic trucks make me feel good about me? Maybe. But to me, the smiling trucks, even when not so neatly lined up, are just another sign that it's really happening. That I really am being a Mom.  And being a Mom is something I have always dreamed of being!!!

Dreams really do come true and just in case the living, breathing, pooping, eating, laughing, walking, giggling baby boy doesn't convince me, the happy, plastic trucks do!!

11 MONTHS OLD

Ryder is fast approaching 1 years old. 1 YEARS OLD!!!!!  He is now just over 11 months old and today, Feb.26th, I can say that he is officially walking.  He's been taking steps and walking from one strategically placed rubbermaid bin to the next for weeks, but today, today, he followed Scout from one end of the house to the other without rubbermaid bins or my finger!! We have emptied all of the heavy books from the bins, filled them back up with their original contents and piled them back in the basement.  Ryder now has only Scout and the couches to hold him up when his newly discovered legs become weary from all of his walking!!

In his tenth month, Ryder started climbing stairs, chewing on his crib, tried Homo milk (not a fan yet,) worked on independant walking, recognized certain objects, like his big stuffed horse. He recognizes him, by his name: Beans. He tried a chocolate dipped strawberry on Valentine's Day, He flew to Phoenix, slept on a mattress on the floor in the rental house in Phoenix, started pushing toy trucks everywhere, got his first big bruise on his head as a result of a run in with a plastic truck and he outgrew his winter snowsuit!!

Oh, he went to the Rain Forest Cafe, in Phoenix for the first time too!

Ofcorse we danced a lot!! Our favorite dancing tune, is Sugarland's "Stuck on you."

Only one more month and he will be 1 YEAR OLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How does time fly by sooo fast???